Bridging The Gap
by ThePossibilityOfMagic
Summary: Sometimes, one conversation can change everything.


_So, this is just another of my daydreams, because pointless romance is pretty much what I live for. The idea for this story came from a single line I happened to hear in a (very boring) film, and it just kind of grew from there, so I hope it turned out okay._

_But remember that I am **always** open to constructive criticism of any kind. So if there's any parts that are OOC or need fixing for any reason, don't hesitate to tell me, because honestly I will thank you for it. _

_I'm just going to take a second to acknowledge the creators, and true owners, of Castle, since I certainly don't own it. Normally I tend to skip over putting a disclaimer in my notes, because I figured that if they **really** wanted to stop Castle fanfics being written, simply saying "I don't own Castle" would probably be unlikely to stop them. But someone has recently explained it in a way that has changed my mind. So, anyone else who has a habit of neglecting the disclaimer, maybe just take that extra second to include one. __It's a respect thing._

_Anyway, enough of all this serious talk._

_Now for the fluff._

_*I've just done a bit of editing, particularly around the ending, but it's really late and I'm not sure if I've got it sounding right. Personally, I think it may still need a little more work, so if you think the same, please let me know :)_

* * *

Pushing through the doors to the morgue, Beckett immediately spotted Lanie seated at her desk, poring over some paperwork. She had already taken two steps into the room before Lanie finally noticed her presence and looked up, her eyebrows lifting in surprise and welcome.

"Beckett, hey. I didn't know you were gonna drop by. This visit about work or play?"

Glancing swiftly around the deserted lab, Beckett's eye fell on one of the empty examination tables. After a second's pause, she crossed the room towards it, leaving Lanie's question unanswered, responding instead with one of her own.

"This table clean, Lanie?"

"Probably one of the cleanest places in the city," Lanie responded reflexively, then paused, her expression growing puzzled.

Biting her lip, Beckett gave a small nod, then swung herself nimbly onto the table, laying herself flat on the cool metal. Her phone got caught beneath her, digging into her back. Tugging on her jacket, she shifted, nudging it out of the way, before settling herself comfortably and taking a deep breath.

"Lanie, I need you to autopsy me."

"Excuse me?" Having just reached edge of the table, Lanie stared down at her incredulously, seemingly trying to decide whether this was all just a bizarre joke.

Looking up at her best friend, Beckett gave a small sigh.

"I need you to autopsy me. Figuratively. A figurative autopsy," she explained, then added wearily, "I need you to figure out just what the hell is wrong with me."

"Ah," Lanie said slowly, appearing to consider what she'd said. Then she gave a slight nod and disappeared from Beckett's line of vision, her heels clicking on the tiled floor as she moved away. Within moments she was back, the clicking of her heels accompanied by the rattle of plastic wheels. Placing her desk chair close to the examination table, she sat on it backwards, resting her arms atop the back of the chair and fixing Beckett with a speculative expression.

"So, what exactly makes you think there's something wrong with you?"

Beckett fidgeted, fixing her gaze on a point across the room. "I broke up with Josh last week."

Her admission was followed by a few seconds of stunned silence before Lanie managed to find her voice again, her tone slightly disbelieving.

"No way."

Beckett sighed. "Way."

"Seriously? You broke up with Dr. Adonis?" From her voice, Beckett could tell Lanie was startled, but somehow not as shocked as she'd expected her to be. Before she could wonder any further about that fact, however, Lanie spoke again, this time with just a trace of mischief in her tone.

"You know, you're right– there's definitely something _very _wrong with you."

"Lanie, please.

"Alright, alright," Lanie responded, then added dryly, "And I'm just gonna skip over the fact that this happened almost a full week ago and you've somehow neglected to tell me 'til just now– although I think you should know now that I expect better from you in the future, or there _will _be consequences."

She paused, giving Beckett a stern look, and Beckett just rolled her eyes.

"So," Lanie began, suddenly all business. "This is all very interesting. Just days after McDreamy chooses you over being a hotshot humanitarian hero in Haiti, you break it off. Now, I know that you're the detective here, but honey, even _I_ can see that there's gotta be more to this story."

"He didn't choose me over Haiti," Beckett answered quietly, then explained, "In his heart, we both knew Haiti was what he _really_ wanted. I wasn't his choice, Lanie. I was his obligation."

"Mmm-hmmm. And so you're saying that's the _only_ reason you ended it?"

Beckett averted her eyes. "What other reason would there be?"

"Girl, I should smack you for saying that, because it's an insult to _my_ intelligence as well as yours. You know damn well that there are other factors that contributed to the doom of your relationship with Josh. One very large, ruggedly handsome factor in particular."

With a tiny sigh, Beckett simply closed her eyes and said nothing.

"Fine, you want to stay in denial a little longer, you go right ahead," Lanie remarked dryly, tapping her fingers on the back of the chair. "But I want details. What made you decide to end it?"

"I guess it had something to do with the fact I wasn't in love with him," Beckett admitted quietly, then added, "I did care about him a lot, though, you know? Maybe even loved him, in a way. But honestly not as much as I loved the _idea _of him."

Taking a deep breath, she continued, "Honestly, I used to be so happy with what we had; I mean, we saw each other so rarely that I felt like I had the best of both worlds. I had someone to be with, but I could still be completely independent and live my life exactly how I wanted to."

She shook her head slightly. "You know, for a while it really worked. Everything was great. And then suddenly… it wasn't. I just couldn't stop thinking about how much I wanted a _real_ relationship, one where I had someone who I could share every aspect of my life with. Someone who would not only go to sleep beside me every night and wake up beside me every morning, but who would be there to share all the other bits in between, too. And when I tried to picture Josh as that person, I just… couldn't."

She sighed heavily, opening her eyes to meet her best friend's gaze.

"I truly do care about him, Lanie. He was sweet and sexy and wonderful, and should have been everything I could possibly want. But there was always something missing between us… that _spark_, you know? That connection, the one that sets what is simply a 'good' relationship apart from the _perfect_ relationship. To tell the truth, I think I've known for a long time that I'll never love him in that way. I just hadn't wanted to admit that to myself."

"I know it's hard, but you did the right thing," Lanie affirmed quietly, staring down at her with sympathy in her eyes, her expression uncharacteristically solemn.

Closing her eyes once more, Beckett lay quietly for a few seconds, before asking softly, "Do you think that you and Esposito have it? The spark?"

There was several moments of pensive silence before Lanie finally replied, "Actually, I think we do."

Opening her eyes, Beckett met Lanie's gaze, a small smile slowly curving her lips.

"I'm happy for you."

"I know you are. But I want to have the chance to be happy for you, too."

Beckett forced a weak smile. "Someday you will. Someday I'll find that spark too."

Lanie raised an eyebrow, giving her a meaningful look.

"You sure you haven't already found it?"

Beckett met Lanie's eyes, no longer avoiding the issue.

"It would never work, Lanie."

"So you _do_ feel it?" Lanie asked, a hint of triumph in her tone. Seeing the small smile that was now curving her best friend's lips, Beckett frowned bitterly.

"Does it matter?"

"Hell yes, it does," Lanie responded immediately, her voice firm. "That boy is head-over-heels in love with you, so if you're feeling it too, there should be nothing in the whole damn world that could stop you."

Ignoring the tiny thrill that had shot through her stomach at Lanie's words, Beckett resolutely shook her head.

"Lanie, it's just far too complicated."

"Of course it is," was Lanie's answer, sounding calmly patient, but with just a trace of sarcasm beneath her words. Suddenly sounding thoughtful, she added, "You know, there's actually something I heard someone say once: _'You want to get to the castle, first you gotta cross the moat'_. So, come on, Beckett, tell me. What's the moat that's keeping you from _your_ Castle?"

Beckett bit her lip, staring at the ceiling as she answered.

"…Everything?"

"Nuh-uh, girl," Lanie responded determinedly, shaking her head. "I'm gonna need specifics right now, not just some vague, lame-ass assurances that it couldn't possibly work, because we both know right now that that's total crap."

"Okay, fine," Beckett retorted, scowling at her friend. "We're partners. If we became anything more, we'd lose what we already have. And I don't know if I could stand to lose that, Lanie, I really don't."

Lanie tilted her head, lifting one eyebrow skeptically.

"Who says you'd lose it? There's no reason why you can't be partners both in and out of work. People work with their spouses all the time, and it works just fine for them," she said firmly, then quickly persisted, continuing before Beckett could even begin to reply.

" It works for Javier and I, doesn't it? Okay, yeah, sometimes you'll have bad days, and you'll fight, and probably want to kill each other. But honey, that's no reason to miss out on the amazing days, because trust me, they are so worth it. So, come on, give me a _real _reason."

"What if we're not after the same thing?" Beckett said quietly, hoping desperately that Lanie wouldn't hear the barely-concealed fear in her voice. Forcing herself to go on, she continued, "I mean, what if it's just a fling for him? You know what I'm like, Lanie, and I think that if I did take that final step– committed to him completely– I'd be committed forever. What if forever isn't what he wants, or he only thinks that he wants it, but later changes his mind?"

Lanie fixed her with an impatient look. "Girl, now you're bordering on ridiculous. That man has been by your side _every goddamn day_ for over _two years_. If he didn't want forever, you know full well that he'd be long gone by now."

"Not _every_ day," Beckett corrected quietly, averting her eyes.

"No, don't you try to play the Hamptons excuse with me," Lanie answered sharply, frowning. "As much as I love you, honey, we both know that you were just as much to blame for what happened back then as he was. As far as that man knew, you were happily off running around with Demming, and he was the unwelcome, unwanted third party. Sure, turning straight to Gina was a bad move on Writer Boy's part, but considering that he was hurt and trying to move on for your sake, I have to say that I can understand it."

"I don't know if I could have done it anyway," Beckett sighed, "even if Gina hadn't been there, I don't know if I could have told him. What would I have said?"

Pitching her voice slightly higher, she said in a mocking tone, _"Hey Castle, I hope you have an awesome time in the Hamptons, oh and by the way I broke up with Tom because I realized I had feelings for you, and I really don't want you to go. See you later." _

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, that would have been just terrific."

"Sounded good to me," Lanie said blandly, then shook her head as she continued, "but that was all in the past. This is about _right now_, and it's definitely about something much bigger than just having 'feelings' for him. This is about bridging that gap, getting rid of that goddamn moat that's separating the two of you. Although, based on the weak-ass reasons you've given me, honestly it seems to be more like a tiny puddle than the alligator-infested death-trap you've been making it out to be."

"Seriously, can we quit with the moat analogy already?"

"Fine," Lanie responded, "Whatever. Now come on, give me some more reasons why it could never work between you and Castle, because you're not even remotely close to convincing me yet."

"How about Alexis?" Beckett answered suddenly, staring past Lanie's head to a distant point in the corner of the room.

"Excuse me? What about her?"

"I can't just show up and try to be her mom."

"Really, honey? You're that desperate for reasons?" Lanie said mockingly, sounding almost amused.

Shaking her head slightly, she added, "Yes, if you and Castle got together, you'd be a step-mom to Alexis. So, please, just tell me this one thing. When she needs advice, who does she call?"

She paused, looking down at Beckett with eyebrows raised, then continued without waiting for a reply.

"She calls _you_. Hell, you give each other birthday and Christmas presents. You've even been out shopping together. Already you spend more time together than _I_ ever spent with _my_ mother. But, even more importantly, I know for a fact that that girl absolutely _worships_ you. And don't try to deny the fact that you adore her too, because girl, I've seen it with my own eyes. I know how much you care about her."

Beckett was silent, staring contemplatively at the ceiling. Lanie waited a few moments, then spoke up once more, her voice sounding almost smug.

"I'm not hearing any more reasons."

"There's more."

"Mmm-hmmm." Lanie was clearly unconvinced. "Would you like me to give you some time alone, so you can make a few more up? Seriously, honey, the sooner you accept it, the better off you will be. There is absolutely no justifiable reason that you and Castle should not be together. You came here so I would tell you what's wrong with you, and I'm telling you, right now. The only thing wrong with you is that you're too scared to admit that you're in love."

Beckett opened her mouth to reply, but was cut off as the doors to the lab suddenly burst open.

"Castle!" the two women said in unison, staring in shock at the slightly breathless writer filling the doorway, his phone in one hand and a thunderstruck expression on his face.

Sitting up swiftly, Beckett felt herself flush in embarrassment, knowing how ridiculous she must look, lying on a goddamn autopsy table of all things. Of the three of them, Lanie was quickest to recover, lifting an eyebrow quizzically as she met Castle's gaze.

"So, what brings you to my lair this evening, Castle?"

Castle swallowed, looking from one to the other. Shifting his weight nervously, he hesitated for a moment, before fixing his gaze on Lanie and asking uneasily, "Lanie, would it be possible for you to step outside for a moment? I need to talk to Beckett. Please, it's important."

Lanie gave him an incredulous look– Beckett was pretty sure she'd never been kicked out of her own lab before– but slowly stood and did as he asked, sending one last intrigued glance at the two of them on her way out. Suddenly recovering her senses, Beckett slipped quickly off the table, taking a small step forward.

"Castle, what is it? What's wrong?" she asked urgently, her voice low and concerned.

"Nothing," he answered, seeming a little dazed. Then he blinked and cleared his throat, his voice steadier as he continued. "Nothing's wrong. Just the opposite, actually. I just received a pretty earth-shattering phone call."

Beckett frowned, suddenly worried. Had he been offered another book deal? One for better money, maybe? Surely not one that would make him consider leaving. He couldn't leave now. Not after all he and Nikki Heat had been through.

Suddenly dreading his answer, she mentally steeled herself, then forced herself to ask the question.

"From who?"

Castle took a deep breath, his eyes never leaving hers. "From you."

His answer took her completely off guard. Utterly confused, Beckett reflexively reached for her pocket, pulling out her phone. Looking down at it, her eyes widened, staring in disbelief and horror at the confirmation of the call right there on the screen.

Lifting her gaze, Beckett opened her mouth wordlessly, then closed it and swallowed before trying again, her voice emerging as a strangled squeak.

"How much did you hear?"

Castle took a step closer, placing himself within reaching distance, his eyes focused intently on hers.

"Pretty much everything after the 'figurative autopsy' part."

Beckett's stomach lurched, and she took an involuntary step back, her body instinctively preparing itself for flight. Thinking of all he'd overheard, she felt her knees go weak, her mind reeling.

Everything she'd said, her every thought and fear, everything she felt for him… he'd heard it all. _Oh god._

She couldn't handle this. This situation was _way_ beyond her ability to cope, so far beyond it that there was only one single clear thought left in her mind, one thing she knew with absolute clarity. She needed to escape. Now.

Seemingly sensing her thoughts, Castle took a quick, cautious step forward, reaching out to her.

"Kate, please, wait," he pleaded, his hand gently encircling her wrist, the feather-light touch holding her in place more effectively than an iron grip ever could have done. She felt her body stiffen in response, her heart thundering against her chest as he moved just a fraction closer, his gaze locked with hers.

"Please, Kate. Just let me say one thing. There's something I need you to know."

Tearing her eyes from his, Beckett turned her head away, her breathing unsteady.

"Castle…"

Without releasing her wrist, Castle lifted his other hand to lightly touch her averted cheek, gently tilting her face up to meet his gaze once more.

His eyes captured and held hers, his hand shifting just slightly to cup her cheek. Her breath caught in her throat as he leaned just a little closer, his expression intense and unwavering as he spoke, his voice low and honest.

"There is no moat."

His revelation was followed by a few moments of complete silence as they simply stared at each other, the two of them frozen in place, scarcely daring to breathe. Castle's eyes bored deep into hers, studying her closely with an intense, searching gaze, until his eyes widened slightly, and he drew in a swift, ragged breath. A brief shadow crossed his expression as he appeared to wage some internal struggle, seeming to be fighting for control. Unconsciously, Beckett leaned just a fraction closer, her lips parting just slightly as her body gave her answer to a question she hadn't even realized had been asked.

Hesitating a second longer, Castle swiftly searched her eyes once more, seemingly seeking any trace of refusal or rejection in their depths.

He wouldn't find it. That was the one thought that managed to permeate through the haze of emotions surrounding her, the only thing Beckett knew for certain. All the things she'd felt just moments before– the fear, the panic, the need to escape– they were all gone. And suddenly, she knew why.

She had taken the final step.

As if he'd read her thoughts, Castle's eyes grew wider, and he took a slow, silent breath before cautiously shifting closer, lowering his head to brush his lips just softly against hers. For a brief moment she was completely still, revelling in the sensation of his mouth on hers, feeling his lips moving over hers with such shy tenderness that it left her stunned.

And then, finally, she did what she'd been both dreaming of and running from for the past two years. She stopped holding herself back.

Grasping his shirt, she leaned in a little closer and and returned the kiss, tentatively at first, but soon with a depth of passion that surprised them both.

After two years of strict self-denial, any remnant of control they might have had was now most certainly gone; deepening the kiss even further, they eagerly explored each others' bodies with roaming hands, losing themselves in the sheer force of the emotions that were now coursing through their veins.

And the spark, so long suppressed, flared into life.

* * *

_So, that was it! I really hope you enjoyed it (despite the fact that it doesn't actually appear to have an actual plot... lol) and I'd love to hear any views you guys might have :)_

_And seriously, doesn't everyone just love Lanie? She is such a Caskett shipper haha_

_By the way, I also just want to say that what happens in this story isn't necessarily the way I want to see Castle and Beckett get together in the show. If fact, it's definitely not. After all they've been through together, for it to happen like this would seem too... well, easy. Or something. I don't know. But even though this isn't how I want to see the Caskett hookup happen, I wanted to write this story anyway- partly because I wanted to explore Beckett's feelings a bit, partly because I thought it'd be kinda fun, but mainly for the simple reason that I am just a **huge** sucker for Caskett romance haha. _

_So yeah anyway, just thought I'd mention it._

_So, that's all from me, and thanks so much to everyone who took the time to give this a read :)_


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